Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?

(312): View more from Illinois

It's worth it.

(248): View more from Michigan

How worth it?

(312): View more from Illinois

Back door worth it

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(248): Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up? (312): It's worth it. (248): How worth it? (312): Back door worth it http://tfl.nu/ijuf

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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(603): So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find. http://tfl.nu/dz78

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(416): View more from Ontario

the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options

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(416): the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options http://tfl.nu/sle9

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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(501): Turns out vomit takes off spray tan. http://tfl.nu/8hd7

Replies (10) Good night (730) Bad night (4832) Order T-Shirt
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(979): View more from Texas

You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

(713): View more from Texas

When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

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(979): You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands (713): When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things http://tfl.nu/2j2p

Replies (28) Good night (5342) Bad night (769)
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(914): View more from New York

when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her

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(914): when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her http://tfl.nu/76rs

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(386): View more from Florida

Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table

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(386): Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table http://tfl.nu/ca9t

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(618): View more from Illinois

Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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(618): Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight.... http://tfl.nu/4lm3

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(618): View more from Illinois

I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

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(618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.

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(508): He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn. http://tfl.nu/4ftp

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(+79): View more from

You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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(+79): You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win http://tfl.nu/jmv2

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(905): View more from Ontario

ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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(905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2

Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (418)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.

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(850): I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here. http://tfl.nu/dms5

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(817): View more from Texas

Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina

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(817): Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina http://tfl.nu/3njj

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(716): View more from New York

I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.

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(716): I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed. http://tfl.nu/sc0t

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