I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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