i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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