question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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