So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize