Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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