Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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