omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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