So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sorry my hands just texted you
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize