i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize