Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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