just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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