you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
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IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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