Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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