So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
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I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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