good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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