I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize