we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize