break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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