I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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