Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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