he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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