Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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