Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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