Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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