peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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