idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So vagazzling was a success
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize