nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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