I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize