at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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