Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize