and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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