chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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