I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize