Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize