It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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