Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize