shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize