My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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