So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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