This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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