hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize