WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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