I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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