mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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