In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
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If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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