I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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