True but thats because hes a fetus.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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