I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize