Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize