On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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